The Miracle of Toilet Paper (as told by a woman)

[longsidelandry]

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to
my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds..' Willing
to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front
of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this
take?' I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the
years?' Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even
walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals
through a straw.