Stupid things you've told your wife

[Matt G]

After a little fooling around I threw a rag at her and said, "Clean yourself off beotch. I'm threw with you."

Her and my SIL were eating a cookie they got in the mall one day and I sat there staring at them. When they said WHAT? I calmly told them that I could hear them getting fatter with each bite! Pissed the SIL off more than the wife.

Told her parents that she couldn't cook worth a crap, but it's ok because I married her for her abilities in the sack! Should have saw her dad's face!!

Trying to score one night and she kept pushing me off. I got out of bed and started geting dressed. She asked where I was going and I said out..... But remember, I asked you first!! It actually freaking worked!

These are some of the milder ones....... My wife is an angle for putting up with me.